Thanks for NOTHING

Today...has been one of my harder ones. My mind just goes and goes and goes to places that it shouldn't, places of the past, the past that I can't change. I always seem to think the same thing over and over again to myself in my mind. What if things were different back then, or God why WHY didn't I run, why did I let him get the best of me. I could have stopped it, could have...tried but I didn't I didn't say anything to anyone I LET it happen I was a weak little girl. I don't know what I didn't, why I thought I couldn't, and look where that got me and my family I was RIPPED away from them and now everything is different with all of them now different with my dad we talk every once in a while but I used to be everything to him and now he only talks for 5 minutes and hangs up and my brothers well Tyler talks to me more then any of them, Judsan and Jordan are different....its different with me and Logan I can't stand it. He moved in with a girl has a baby IS GETTING MARRIED and....never called me. Never even bothered. Him and I used to do EVERYTHING together. from parties and drinking to fishing on a Sunday night just everything this kid was my best friend and brother I remember when he decked some guy in the face because he called me an ugly whore and now....im not a damn thing to him and I love it. What the heck ever peace the eff out.